Playing with Couples Pt 1

Why is it that every time I insist that I don't love her, everyone says I do? It doesn't make sense to me; love is a weakness and it only slows you down. I can't have that. Besides, I still don't get why they think I love her.

All she does is remind me of Maria with her unmoving, blind optimism and kindness that she and Maria share. Sometimes I think she's a reincarnation of her…But she couldn't be, for if she was then she'd be human…and a little less annoying. Once I even brought that up with her.

It was a winter day. The snow was white and it shined as it reflected the sun. Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Rouge (the bat that dragged me there in the first place) went to go find some firewood for a winter bon fire. Sonic, with his eyes shining with mischief (which I knew was what he was up to at that moment) told Amy to get the s'mores supply. He also told me to go with her.

I'm not sure why I agreed too but I followed her with minimum complaint. As always, it was awkwardly silent as we walked together. It had been like that since I accidentally broke Sonic's leg a couple months back while we were sparring.

Finally she decided to break the silence that I had been enjoying. The topic; me of course, "Hey Shadow. Why did you come today? I was sure you were going to look for the last chaos emerald. I know it's very important to you."

I didn't say anything for the longest time, trying to figure out my reasons for going along with Rouge. It wasn't because I cared that Rouge wanted to me to go; she was only my teammate. It was only when she mentioned Amy that I agreed to go, though that perplexed me.

Finally, I said something. I hadn't meant for it to come out of my mouth, but not everything goes as planned. "I guess it's because I wanted to be with you." When I realized I said it, I turned to her quickly so I could try and deny it but when I turned and saw her blush and smile, my mouth went dry. Soon I was able to regain my speaking ability, though, and said, "No, no I meant I wanted to ask you something."

I looked at her to see if she showed any signs of disappointment (even though I shouldn't have cared if I hurt her feelings). She was still smiling, but the sadness in her eyes and her tone-of-voice was enough for me to know that I had said something wrong, "Oh. Well, what did you want to ask me?"

I looked at her hard for a minute, wondering if I should say what I had wanted to ask. It only took some self-persuasion for me to figure out that I should tell he what I thought, "Do you ever wonder if you're Maria's reincarnation?" My voice was hesitant, but I made sure to keep my voice conversational.

She looked at me for a second, and her expression of pity and understanding was enough for me to pull away from her. "Shadow, do you miss her?"

I stopped in my tracks, regretting that I even brought it up with her. "No." It was a lie, for of course I missed her. Every minute of ever day, every aspect of my being was crying out to be with her. The only time I wasn't was when Amy was around.

I didn't know what the expression on my face was, but it must have been something to be worried about because Amy walked over to me and looked into my eyes. The jade in her eyes shown with sadness and worry as she murmured, "You're lying. Oh Shadow, is the only reason you promised me Maria's promise because you thought I was like her? Because you thought I was her reincarnation?"

That's when I realized inquiring with her on that subject had been a mistake. I pulled away completely and pushed past her quickly. The last words I said to her that night were, "Never mind. Just forget that this conversation ever happened."

Maybe it's true what everyone says; maybe I do love her. The thing is; I'm not sure if she still loves me anymore.